I had a very interesting lunch with a self professed milonguero (Buenos Aires man who danced in milongas all his life).
I met his partner in a milonga and they invited me and HT to lunch the following sunday.
Somehow the conversation came to the codigas (codes) of the milonga. And some dirty secrets were revealed. 
Well, most people who dances or reads about tango would probably know the basic codigas of a milonga (tango dance party). There are as follows;
1. Use cabeceo all the time when inviting people. Cabeceo is a form of eye contact; asking and agreeing.
2. Do not dance with the same person two tandas in a row because that will show that you are interested in him/her.
3. Usually you don't dance with someone who sits together with a partner unless the partner is actively dancing with other people.
4. Even when the partner is dancing with other people you need to acknowledge the partner when asking the other person to dance.
5. Everyone sees everything in the milonga, including who you enter and who you exit with.
6. They also see how well are you dancing. So even for a very good dancer, if you show that you are not on very good form that night, the top dancers would not dance with you.
When I first danced tango, I also did not want to dance with the women who had their boyfriends beside them. This is because I am did not want to cause any jealousy or tension amongst them. But the conversation today with the milonguero yielded very different explanations.
I quote, 'Because 80% of the milongueros want to fuck!!!' He explained that many people, good dancers included are prospecting for 'after dance' activities. In other words, many milongueros are dancing not purely for the dance itself. 'Zui weng zhi yi bu zai jiu' goes a chinese proverb; the heart of the drinker is not in the drink.
He went on further to say about how many milongueros despite being married and having a settled family still goes around looking for new young 'adventures' in the milonga. And his partner, the lady I met in the milonga further attested to this situation. She explained how countless of time very good milongueros told her how good a dancer she was and if she wants to partner them to perform or take classes from them; and all these turning out to be ruse for sex.
'All of them wants to fuck! Ladies too!' The milonguero enthuses. His partner rolls her eyes at the vulgar but frank statement. 'I can show you some ladies who have been fucking with at least 7 very good milonguero dancers! In the same milonga!'
He then relates a story where a well known milonguera danced with him everynight and sounding him out about getting together. Then one night when she finally gets it that it will not happen, she (in his words) 'crushed all her weight on him during the dance, destroyed him and never danced with him again.' 'You will be very rich if you get together with her.' He pointed to me laughing.
I find all these quite hilarious actually. The way his eyes sparkle when he talks about it.
Well, on some level I am probably already aware of this. Its like all bar or social scenes where men and women meet. Even in the Singapore scene. But I guess I kinda not try to think too much about it and focus on the dance. Plus being in the asian culture, we are not as forthright as this. But that's human nature isn't it?
Anyway so these are the hidden codes amongst codes.
1. Never dance a second tanda with someone on the same night, even if its seperated by many other tandas. If you do, means you want to fuck.
2. Never leave the milonga together with some other gal you danced with. If you do, means you guys going to fuck.
3. A coffee invitation after a milonga means he is interested in you, and if you accept means you are interested in him too.
4. A coffee invitation at his/her home always mean fuck!
But we all know that don't we.
(Apologies for all the uses of the f-word. But that was really how the conversation went.)
