Crossroads

Dear friends,

After nine months of wandering and adventuring in a strange faraway land, halfway around the world; with nothing but a suitcase, a backpack and a pair of tango shoes.

As a strange face in the crowd, from not being able to communicate anything other than pointing at the food menu.

From avoiding eye contacts in milongas, getting a 2 week diarrehea, feeling marginalised and stepping on dog shit;

From living in transition and daily uncertainty, spur of the moment half marathons;

With downs and ups, from feeling like a tramp to feeling like a champ.

To those crazy birthday and new year parties; to dancing and making friends with the best tango dancers in the world.

From soldier to dancer.

Its been a crazy nine months and it passed like a flash. Four more weeks and I'd be back in Singpore.

Tango wise I could not ask for more. Dancing was great, the classes, teachers, milongas and best of all, the people I got to know. Cacho, Rosana, Flaco, Bichy and Javier, etc...

Yet my business with Bs.As. is not finished. I'm still not the dancer I want to be and most importantly I still need to sort out my studies here.

Its very difficult to get through the administrative red tape. I still cannot figure out why is it so difficult to study when I want and can afford to study. So in that sense, the nine months is lost; study wise.

I'm coming back to Singapore in April. To sort out my student visa.

Then I will be back in Buenos Aires again, hopefully by June.

Like I said our business is not finished... until then I'll keep drifting.

Have you ever had moments where you rubbed shoulders with a famous person? Come in contact with someone you respect very much; find yourself speaking suddenly with someone larger than life?

When I was a cadet in the officer school, we felt immensely proud if the Wing Commander came and talk to us, even if just for a few words. I remember one time, he came over and gave me a pat on the shoulder, saying 'good job cadet.' My hair stood on its ends.

Another story related to me was by Carol, a friend from Singapore. She travelled to Tokyo and waited for six hours outside a building for the lead singer of SMAP, Takuya Kimura, to give him a present. She is not a groupie, but she told me that when she eventually got to hand the present to him face to face and listen to him say 'thank you!' It felt like not only her six hours was worth it, it covered her $2000 plane ticket too.

Another similar, but tango related, memory told to me by Jean Michel. His eyes sparkling, hands rubbing, and body quivering with delight, he told me, 'The most memorable dance I had, was I cabeceo-ed and danced with Geraldine Rojas (former partner of Javier Rodriguez).'

So these are peculiar moments in your life where you rub shoulders with giants. They stay in your memory forever and they are always fond memories which you will remember laughing, guaranteed; not many memories could be remembered with equal wickedness and heartiness. Most memories, even good ones, are remembered with a certain nostalgia and loneliness. But these are so incredible and out of this world you remember them with nothing but amazement.

Dear readers, I have one to tell now...

Last night I was Salon Canning, my very first night returning to the late night milonga scene after two weeks of respite. I was there mainly because Javier Rodriguez and Andrea Misse are going to performing to the live music of the orchestra Color Tango. Also because my good friend Bichy is going off soon to Italy for a few months, to teach tango. We made plans to meet there.

I went up to their table (Javier, Andrea, Bichy, Carlos Copello and some other friends were sitting together) and greeted them. Andrea turned to me and asked with a mischevious grin, 'Are you going to ask me to dance today? You better do that!!' Being the chicken that I am and Andrea being one of the world´s best dancer that she is, I replied, 'Of course!!' and in my heart thinking, 'Of course!!! I'll ask you in another 6 months time when I finally can dance like Javier's left foot.'

So I returned to my spot and had a laugh with my friend, I joked to her that it would have taken six months for a dancer as good as Andrea Misse to want to dance with me, and another six more months for me to be confident enough to dance her. Andrea wants to dance with me now! Haha! It took less than six months! We just need to wait six months now instead of a year.

Soon the show started. Javier and Andrea were in flying form. Javier likes to dance to Pugliese and the fact that Color Tango, who plays a style similar to Pugliese, was playing live as he was dancing, gave him the extra kick. At times, I find the Roberto Alvarez (the lead bandoneonist) was looking at them dance more attentively than looking at his score. The musicians were probably thinking, 'If there was a perfect physical expression of our music, it would be the two people dancing in front of us now.'

Around 3am in the morning, I decided it was late enough and time to head home. Of course I have not forgotten about Andrea's words. It just that after a phenomenom performance like that, my balls would have to be twice the size of a basketball to ask her to dance.

So I took off my snazzy new tango shoes (from P.H. a brand recommended to me by Javier). As I was doing that, 'Cafe Dominguez' by D'agostino came on. It always happens this way, everytime when you are about to leave the milonga some great music comes on and you feel like putting on the shoes again.

Nevertheless, I went over to Javier and Andrea's table to say goodbye to them and Bichy. Andrea look at me with mock anger, 'You are not going to ask me to dance again?! No no no, I won't let you get away this time.' To my horror she stood up and started to pull me towards the dance floor.

Javier and Bichy burst out laughing. My face must be very red by then. I realised there was no way I was getting out of this one so I said, 'Ok ok! Lets dance but at least let me put on my tango shoes (the snazzy P.H.s ).' 'No! We are dancing now!' 'I'm not going to run away, at least let me put on my shoes!' No matter how much I pleaded I soon found myself dragged to the dancefloor, by Andrea.

So I sucked up the air and try to inflate my very small balls, I mean, ego, and do what I have been everyday for the last six months, embrace gently, breathe and take a side step.

The tanda of six D'agostino flew by. The music was calm and peaceful, Andrea was calm and peaceful, and all I tried to do during the six dances was to be as calm and peaceful as I can. In the end we had a calm and peaceful tanda.

Andrea said to me at the end, 'Never again leave a milonga without asking me to dance!' I replied, 'Or I can sneak out of the milonga without greeting you goodbye.'

We both burst out laughing.

Ney and Jennifer first brought this topic up when we were strolling towards NeoTango to buy shoes, “Hey Isaac, you can taxi dance for us (our tango tour group). We’d pay you for two weeks of work.” The first thing that entered my mind was, “Dude, you’re going to be a social err dance escort. Hmmm. Bad connotations…heh.” But then, why should it be bad? Its just a dance after all, and a good chance to earn some moolah.

When I finally met with the group I found out that most of the dancers were beginners. It was really difficult to dance with them at first. But hey, if they were really expert dancers they wouldn’t be joining a tango tour in the first place would they? My job was to accompany to classes in the day, and in the night go dancing with them in the milongas. Its not a tough job considering that’s what I do in my time here anyway; go classes in the day and dance in the night. Just that now I get paid for it.

I remember the first night I went out dancing with them. It was at El Beso. I remember thinking, ‘Hmmm, now its not for fun anymore, it’s a job.’ ‘El Adios’ by Donato came on. Instinctively it popped into my head up to search for good dancers to 'cabeceo' because I loved the song so much. Then I remembered I’m working, so I had to dance with one of the ladies from the group. The dance felt very awful. For the following reasons, I wasn’t able to express the music fully with her, like I would normally with a skilled dancer; I was dancing with her because I had to, not because I wanted to. Then I realized, I’m spoiled. Spoiled by dancing too much with good dancers, spoiled by not having to work for such a long time.

Also to my horror, I was extremely conscious of the milongueros looking on. I saw a few faces lit up when I entered El Beso. They were dancers that I had danced with, probably looking forward to dancing with me. Throughout the whole night, the ladies were staring at me, expecting me to pick them up for dance. On a normal night, I would had danced with each and everyone of them. But this was not a normal night, on that night of El Beso, I think I offended some of them by not returning their ‘eye invitation’.

On the dance floor too, I can feel the eyes on the milongueros burning through me, “Why is he dancing so horribly?” I can almost hear their hearts say.

But like all things, the start is always the hardest, after just a few days I got over the fact that it’s a job. It’s a state of mind really, the fact that I was working probably highlighted the effort I had to put in. But once I got over that, I began to enjoy the dances with the ladies. Put it this way, what other job besides ‘punchi punchi’ involves hugging ladies and bringing them happiness in the process? In fact, they were improving by leaps and bounds everyday. Ney and Jennifer were really good teachers and they were really hardworking students.

Besides being good teachers, Ney really brightened the mood of the group. Always funny and full of energy, he gave everyone Spanish sounding names, like Ralph was Raul, Lisa Marie became Maria. We had very interesting sharing sessions everyday where the guys would share their previous night’s experiences and talks. The whole bunch developed a very nice group dynamics and soon it didn’t feel like a job anymore. I began to look forward to the next milonga with the ladies and the next class with Ney and Jennifer.

I got to meet a lot of cool people in the process. In the previous article I wrote that ladies that could not get dances easily had to hire taxi dancers. I realized I missed out a very important point. Taxi dancers are essential to these tango tours because the people came to Buenos Aires to fulfill their tango dreams; to immerse in this foreign culture. With Ney’s group I felt that I am more than just a dancer. They were my friends and I want to make their stay in Buenos Aires as enjoyable as possible; at least in the sense of tango.

At the end, the group was very nice, treated me to a very nice special dinner at Puerto Madero, which I never expected. They will always have a very special place in my heart as they were my virgin group. I took the chance to try out taxi dancing, and I must say I liked it very much due to these guys.

Not only that, I found back something I lost in the pursue for excellence in tango; that tango is a dance between everyone, not just between good dancers. I have been dancing too much with the same excellent dancers, ladies that do not need a clear mark on my part. After dancing with these ladies from the tango tour, my lead became more clear because I was dancing with different ladies and them who did not help cover up for my unclear lead. More importantly I found back the pleasure of dancing with ladies of all level; to enjoy the music as one no matter the complexity of the figures.

In a few days time, on the 18th of Feb 2007, the oriental world would celebrate Chinese New Year. One of the major highlights of this day is the setting off of fireworks. I would miss this year’s fireworks at home, like I’ve missed the fireworks of Christmas and New Year’s. But I’ve already seen my share of fireworks here in Buenos Aires.

The argentines are of a different culture. A big kiss and a hug on the first meeting; Setting up big plans for future traveling on the second meeting. They can become your best friends instantly. But often, one is left wondering what happened when many of these promises are left unfulfilled. Like fireworks, the argentines are spectacularly friendly; even though only for a moment.

But throughout my time here I met some really sincere argentines. Bichy, a very good young tango dancer that dance like Javier, is one of them.

Christmas season 2006, I was standing outside Salon Canning. Bichy was smoking with his good friend Color (short for Colorada; which means redhead; the argentine men like to call their women by the color of their hair. ‘Venis morocha!’ Or ‘Chau rubia!’). Bichy was asking me what I am doing for Christmas Eve. “Nothing,” I said, “I’ll be staying in my hostel alone.” Bichy and Color looked at me horrified. “Nadie queda solo durante Navidad!” (“Nobody spends Christmas Eve alone.”) exclaimed Color. The very cute and animated Color then went on and on with numerous gestures to explain why no one should be alone during Christmas. “Everyone will go to their little homes with their granny, grandpa, uncles…”

Bichy patted on my shoulder and said, “Come with me to my home in Mataderos (a barrio in Buenos Aires), let’s celebrate Christmas Eve together with my family.” At that point of time I didn’t feel like intruding on a very private family affair. Also I thought it was just another off the cuff ‘argentine’ invitation.

There is a Chinese saying “Yi xiao ren zi xin, du jun zi zi fu”; to guess the intentions of a gentleman using the intentions of an ungentleman. To my shame, on that occasion I made that mistake. Bichy’s invitation turned out to be really very sincere. On Christmas Eve itself, he called my hostel and asked me to go. But I missed his call as I was out with my friends. A few days later I met him in ‘Cachirulo’ (Maipu 444) milonga and once again he invited me to go to his home and celebrate New Year’s Eve with his family. I was very touched by his sincerity towards this stranger. This time, I accepted without hesitation.

So on New Year’s Eve, Bichy, Color and me went over to his house in Mataderos. There we had a big argentine barbeque (asado) dinner. His mom, granny, great granny, uncles, aunties, sister, the whole extended family was there.

As I was eating, observing them, I realized this was exactly like the big reunion dinner we have every Chinese New Year Eve. Just that, instead of gathering around the television after the dinner like us Singaporeans. They cleared up the dinner table, put on some Cumbia music and started to dance. This is another very argentine culture. In fact, very latino; music and dance. They cannot live without these two. Milna, Bichy’s sister taught me how to Cumbia. And they made me cumbia and tango with Bichy’s grandma! While they all cheered at the sides! Bichy’s grandma was such a hoot! She was laughing all the way during the dance. I think never in her life she would have expected to tango with a chinito (little Chinese). Later Bichy’s mom came up to me and said, “You are very lucky, you have danced with a great milonguera.”

On the stroke of midnight, the sky roared. We all went out to the balcony. And there I saw, the skies lit up with fireworks. People streamed to the streets. From all the corners of Buenos Aires, from the streets, from the balconies of houses, fireworks exploded into the sky, green red blue and golden. It was quite a sight.

Fuegos articifiales, artificial fires, filled the sky. But there is nothing artificial about the warmth and passion from Bichy’s family, which filled my heart that night.