What if, the very first love you had or you ever possessed a love that was so good and perfect, and try as you might, you realise you might never find something so wonderful again?
I stayed 10 days in the jungle without food and comfort; I learnt to appreciate the loveliness of a simple meal. I left Singapore, to see the outside world; I learnt to appreciate the beautiful things Singapore could give me.
But what about love? It seems to me that as I see more and more of relationships, experience and understand more about love, the more hopeless it seems to find something so pure again. It seems more difficult and the mediocre seems abound everywhere.
Where is ever after? Does it exist? So in the meantime before ever after? What does one do? Then it also seems to be wrong to be serious in love. The more you love someone the more likely you are to turn them off?
How about not to loving someone you are together with in a lesser degrees? Stop thinking too much for them? So that their actions would not break your heart too much? Then it comes to the question of worthiness. If you really love them shouldn't they be worthy of all your attention?
So lets say, you don't put in 100% and neither does the person you love put in 100%. Its suppose to be good? Its suppose to turnout better than if both of you put in 100%? Ok then we suppose one of the person does not want to put in 100% then wouldn't it be unfair for the other person that puts in 100%? Plus, on many occasions, the person who puts in 100% would then become so annoying to the other one because he/ she is doing too much.
So then we suppose true love is about two person putting in 100%. Then why do most people come together for a relationship if they don't want to put 100% from the start?
So at the end of it all, as we grow up and experience the passing of the purity of the first love, or a true love, it seems to me we do not move ahead and learn how to love the person we are with. But instead, we learn how not too love the person we are with.
At least not 100%.
Isaac, You are still a bit complicated as far as love is concerned. But it's your right and I won't challenge you there. Just let me share with you few thoughts & experience I had about love.
Pure love is an ideal that exist only in books, in your head obviously & in heaven... maybe.
Love isn't a feeling only. Love is closer to the mix between a feeling & an experience: the experience of a relationship based on "perfect kindness". Romantic love cannot sustain itself like a balloon in the air if there isn't the reality of a growing relationship.
You are talking a lot about percentage as if love is a transaction or a trade. But it isn't, as kindness cannot be measured. What matters is to give to the other without expecting anything in returns. As says a wise antic philosopher: if you want to be loved, love!
To use your words, I just hope that you will soon experience a relationship that evolves from 20% to 120%. Because it's wonderful & so much better than a "pure love" that goes from 100% to 0%...
Be patient & meditate, you know that we all care for you,
Jean-Michel