After almost 8 months in Buenos Aires, I am finally back at my comfortable little home in Singapore. Writing this little article in the peace of my living room after conducting a tango practica at ixidanza.

In my time in Buenos Aires, I have learnt things that life here in my clean, ordered and rich country would have never taught me.

Too many things to be said, but to sum it up; life is amazingly open ended; you just have to open up your heart and take chances, only then the short life will not be lived in vain. When things do not go so smoothly, you cannot take yourself too seriously; life moves on even if you don't.

In terms of tango, I could not asked for more. From learning with the best dancers in the world; dancing with them and immersing myself in the best milongas in the world; Having such profound experiences in a culture so foreign and faraway; getting to know some of the great dancers of tango, and hanging out with them as a friend outside of their 'stardom' in their normal daily lives. And who would have thought a little 'chinito' from Singapore will be moonlighting as a taxi dancer in the birthplace of tango itself?! Looking back, I still find it incredible.

It was as if I were taking tango and injecting into my blood everyday for 8 months.

In a more concrete sense, these are the changes in my dance;

1. Conversation in a dance: In my last tango class, it was a private lesson with Marite, Javier's good friend, I was very fortunate to have the beautiful Mafalda to be my dancing partner. She had been in Buenos Aires for many years dancing tango and we spent the entire last lesson trying to get me to listen to Mafalda's body energies and how was she trying to communicate her mood and way of listening to the music to me. As if that was not difficult enough, I had to read what was she trying to convey to me and then respond to her energy, and respond to how she wants to express to the music.

This last lesson opened up my mind and finally got me to understand why tango is not really about leading and following. Leading and following is actually basic; Tango is actually about two people dancing and communicating with each other during the dance, like two people talking. Just that for this particular 'language' the guy speaks in a certain way and the girl another. But both have an equal say in this dance.

2. How to dance socially with anyone who really wants to dance, especially for less experienced dancers. From the initial contact, the little touch of the hands, the soft embrace, the first step, and doing things that the lady knows and not trying to dance out of her comfort... etc.

All these during the dance and most importantly, when the dance ends be sincerely encouraging and happy. I guess in tango we are so demanding with ourselves and the partner that we forget the social part of it. The level of dancing is in fact not as important as how much you really want to dance with each other; how much soul you 'give' to the other person in the dance.

The mark of a good social dancer is not just his technique, his musicality and his navigation. I think it is also to be able to be nice and sociable to his partner during the dance.

3. Pepper in the dance. No matter what, tango is still a latin dance, danced by hot blooded latinos. And no matter how sweet women wants and demands, they would want a little spice and energetic passion too.

For my young oriental sensibilities, being sweet is natural. But the spices are coming along just fine. Being in Buenos Aires, hanging around with the latinos and the hot blooded latinas like Marite. I begin to understand that in a relationship, in a dance, sometimes, one can be too sweet. A little spice and passion will make your dance so much more interesting.

So do not be afraid to be a little excited in your dance at times, putting driving energy when the music and lady demands. Of course keep it all under control.

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As I think about all that I have learnt; tango and opening my heart up to wear it on my sleeve without fear, I came to understand more clearly the cultural makeup of my fellow countrymen; the reserved asian sensibilities.

There is no right or wrong. But there is always a personal preference. I have never really felt like a normal chinese or Singaporean, but now more than ever I feel more aligned to the openess of the latin culture.

And my tango education is far from complete. In June or latest early July 2007, I will make the trip back to Buenos Aires again.

Till then.

The Lovely Marite