Your last words to me, "Goodbye, I should go. You take care of yourself, remember to eat well & sleep well."

The last smell I had of you, from the last hug; a mixture of your shampoo, your familiar body scent. Faint, like spring time flowers from faraway.

My last feel of your touch, soft like always, with so much warmth of love. Your head buried into my shoulders. Your silken hair caressing my face. Your arms, your hands, your embrace enveloping me; pressing me into you. How I wish you'll hug me forever like this & not let go; this I know is impossible, but at least God has granted me a final hug to be remembered.

My last image of you. In your faded white budwiser t-shirt, which reads 'this bud is yours'; brought a smile to my face always when I read it; "Yup. This babe is mine." In your brown semi-hippie cargo pants. Your small stature, looked even smaller from a distant, as you walked further and further from me. You showed the security your boarding pass and your passport and then, dragging your black samsonite bag along, you strode into check in gates. Every centimeter you take away from me, I found it harder and harder to breath.

Before you turned into the corner where I would lose sight of you forever, you paused and looked back. My face, which was frozen into an awkward smile; that kind which was designed to suppress tears, mouthed a 'goodbye' and you disappeared. Not wanting to lose sight of you I went around the check in counter and my last image of you, was you striding in till the partition obscures my view from you.

As I helped myself along the railing, I thought to myself, "This is so painful! But what a masochist I am! Three airport farewells with three different girls, in a little more than a year?!"

But this time it was worse wasn't it? For this time, for there was no mention of when we'll meet again. Where at least, my last partings had some hope, however false it turned out to be. This time, it is indefinite. After two failed long distance relationship, reality weighs heavily upon my heart.

You came here, to take a break from your normal life and now you left, to go back to your normal life.

But I, I had to come back to a home that looks exactly as the same as before you were gone. Walkthrough the same corridor, just this time without you my side. As I opened the door, I could almost imagine you behind me, reaching out any moment to hold my arm to get some warmth from the cold Buenos Aires evenings; as I walked into the house, it looked surreal; same, untouched, yet different; your things were gone, you were gone, yet your presence was still around.

I smelled the towel you left behind; the bedsheets and pillow at your side of the bed; there are still untouched till now, just that now, even your smell has faded.

I looked around the house and it still feels you are here, just somewhere I can't see you; in the bathroom, bathing; in the bedroom, dressing up to go out; even as I type on the computer, it feels as though you'll come anytime to hug me from behind and then sit by my side.

I close my eyes and I can imagine your voice, your face; here in this house.

You are still here. Just that you are not.