Crossroads

I love tango. I love the music. The music reaches deep into my heart and makes my body want to move and do things. Sometimes in the milonga (tango dance parties), when the music comes on, it hits me like a bolt of lightning and every cell in my body just wants to dance!

Sometimes I could not manage to invite a girl to dance. I will sit there, drowning in the music (and frustration), in a slight trance-like state, and my fingers will be dancing the beat, the piano, the violin, or the bandoneon of the orchestra.

I'm sure it is not just me, but everyone who likes to dance would have similar experiences. That is when the music really enters your soul and the dance resides in you.

It took a lot of listening to the tango music, dancing and basically a long time for this sensation to enter my body. But the music from some orchestra came easier than others.

Carlos Di Sarli, Juan D'Arienzo, Ricardo Tanturi, Osvaldo Fresedo and valses etc, they came naturally to me, their music entered my body quite early on in my tango journey and I could dance them without extra difficulty.

But there were two types of music that took a long time for me to feel them and required a lot of effort for me to dance them. One of them was milonga and the other one was the music by Osvaldo Pugliese.

For a long time, I did not know how to dance Pugliese; The rhythm disappears and reappears, the violins were too intense, the silences and pauses were undanceable, finally the endings of the music were always too frentic.

Amongst the hits and misses, the real breakthrough came recently, in September 2007 during the Taipei festival, during the class by Javier Rodriguez and Andrea Misse on 'Dancing on Pugliese'.

After teaching a relatively complex figure which most students struggled through, the real gem of the class came when Javier and Andrea started talking about the 'sensations' felt when dancing Pugliese; what Pugliese music means to them.

It all started when my dear friend and very good dancer from Singapore, Su Lyn asked Javier and Andrea during the class, "(Judging from the size of the steps and the complexity of the figures) Do you always need a lot of space to dance Pugliese?"

"Good question." Javier smiled and spoke to the students. "In salon (social) tango, the energy (of the steps and figures) are usually projected near the embrace and embellishments usually happen at the ankle level, because other people are dancing around you. In fantasy (stage) tango, where the couple is performing alone on stage, the energy is projected more outwards, further away from the embrace. The embellishments happen much higher, knee level and above..."

He continued, "...While the epitome of salon tango is the orchestra of Carlos Di Sarli, the epitome of fantasy tango is the orchestra of Osvaldo Pugliese..."

"...Of course we dance Pugliese's music in a social milonga. But as we are compelled to be more expressive in his music, it is hard to dance Pugliese when the dancefloor is very crowded. It would be ideal if the dancefloor has more space."

Andrea chimed in, "Of course try not to slit anyone's throat on the social dancefloor with your heels when you are dancing Pugliese!..." That drew some laughter.

She continued. "...To me, dancing Pugliese is like telling a story, there is a beginning, a middle part and a conclusion."

"Yes," Javier agreed, "And in the story, there are sometimes very sweet parts, sometimes very intense and brutal parts..."

"...some parts of the music, for example when the bandoneon and piano drives the beat, it calls for you to just walk forward like an elephant..."

"...some parts of the music, calls for slow, stretched out movements like chewing gum."

"...and there are even some parts of the music, for example during a long drawn out violin, it calls for the men to just pause, be still and silent to let the women express herself individually and fully."

"Lastly..." Andrea concluded, "...there is the end part, the conclusion to the story; which is called the 'variation' or climax, where the whole orchestra plays to a rousing finish, and this is the part of the dance which is the most energetic and intense."

With that the class ended. Something inside me clicked, the music of Pugliese suddenly began to make sense. As foreigners who did not grow up listening to tango music, this little insight on the structure of Pugliese music was invaluable to us.

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Later that night, during the milonga of the Taipei Tango Festival. I danced a nice late Carlos Di Sarli tanda (set of four tangos) with Andrea. The epitome of salon tango; very formal, very elegant and very polite.

Towards the end of the night, a Pugliese tanda came on, 'Nochero Soy'. I was desperate, I wanted to dance so much with Andrea. She did not notice me at first but probably Javier saw the burning fire in my eyes, he gave a nudge to Andrea. Andrea looked my way and accepted the dance.

I remembered what Javier and Andrea said in the class and tried to 'tell a story' with the music while dancing with Andrea. But what I did not expect and what I would never forget was that while dancing with me and following every lead I proposed, she made me feel 'her story'!!!

The sensation was like she took my plainly written story and then retold it to me, with the exact same storyline but painted it with incredible colours and life of her own; the same opening chapter, the same sweet parts, same brutal parts, same pauses and finally the same concluding climax, but so much more exciting!

At that time, I cannot call myself a very sensitive leader yet; in terms of feeling what the girl wants. The memorable times, when a dancer made me feel her music and gave me a different insight to the music during the dance, are few and far between; the only one I can remember was Royce, very early on in my dancing journey she made me feel the music of Juan D'Arienzo.

But that Pugliese tanda with Andrea... I can honestly say I was a different dancer before and after dancing that tanda with her. At the start, I was still not very confident in my interpretation of Pugliese music. But at the end of the tanda I felt that the music of Pugliese had finally entered my body; and Andrea made it happen.

She gave me a very nice praise at the end of the tanda, "Now I can end my dancing night, go back and sleep soundly."

Out of an immense interest in acting since I was a kid, and a general lack of acting talent in the Singapore population; I got to act in some Singapore television serials when I was younger. No thanks to my mean looking mug, most of the time I got roles such as a small time gangster, or as an illegal porno vcd vender.

My most memorable television role, was in one episode of a big kungfu television production "Legend of the Condor Heroes"; as an evil kungfu beggar, who eventually died trapped as a snowman in the 'snowy mountains of China', or really, 'studio 2' in Mediacorp (Singapore's very own television company).

Since then, my 'blossoming' acting career came to a uneventful stop. But as fate would have it, I'd have another chance at regional notoriety.

Some months ago, in 2007, while I was back holidaying in Singapore, I had a gathering with one of my primary school friends. It turned out that she worked with the chinese newspaper and had contacts with Mediacorp who was working on a documentary about Singaporeans living abroad in exotic places, doing exotic things. She passed on my story and the producers liked it.

Just like that, on 3rd January 2008, a bare bones film crew consisting of a director, a cameraman and a hostess; the beautiful Belinda Lee (a former MTV asia VJ, now a Mediacorp actress), arrived at my doorstep.

"The documentary is titled 'Find me a Singaporean'." The director explained. "We have gone to places such as France, China, Africa, Peru and now Buenos Aires, to seek out Singaporeans living in these places, doing special, out of the ordinary things."

"Belinda would follow one week of your life here in Buenos Aires, doing exactly the same things you do. Some interviews of you and your friends would be conducted. Also Belinda would also give the viewers a day by day review of how she personally feels, living in a condition like this. In a nutshell, she'll put herself in your shoes for a week." She concluded.

So from tango lessons with Javier and Andrea, taking spanish lessons, taxi dancing with american tourists, running around the Ministry of Immigration and university to settle my student visa, etc, I had Belinda beside me and a camera in my face, for one whole week.

It was quite an interesting experience. Got a little bit complicated at times; for example, the time when the film crew was chased out of the Ministry of Immigration, or the time when the director had to pay Salon Canning a sum of money to film the milonga, or the time when the camera followed me around the dance floor in Salon Canning when I was taxi dancing with the tourists, like I was some kind of rock star...

...Nothing, however, would beat that particular time, when the director got inspired by the whole special tango ambient, that she decided to film a mini MTV-styled tango dance scene with Belinda and me dancing, in Caminito, La Boca; in order to cap an artistic end to the documentary.

It was all in good fun, in the end Belinda got to take some tango classes, danced a bit in the milongas with me and Gustavo, from Taipei. She had, in her words, 'grown to love tango and would definitely want to continue dancing.'

Hopefully a busy woman like her would continue to dance back in Singapore. A little star quality in a local community always makes things interesting.

As for me, I remembered the times back when I was in junior college, when my television shows aired, I would always get stares, friendly banter and even taunts from schoolmates and strangers. So I'm no stranger to the five minutes of fame; I take all these as a fun and interesting experience, nothing else.

I do have one hope for the documentary though. Which is that the documentary would provide an accurate insight to my life and motivations in Buenos Aires. So that when my mom gets to see it, she would have a better understanding of why and what I am doing in Argentina, henceforth ease her constant worries and doubts.

The three of us; Jean Michel, Royce and I, we have been hitting the milongas (tango dance parties) together. Painting the town red.

We must present quite a strange phenomenom to the other tango dancers; a french man and two asian faces. Many times people would ask me if Royce was my girlfriend, or ask Royce if we were together (luckily no one really asked if Jean Michel and I were together).

But after a few clarifications, everyone in the milongas seem to know Royce and Jean-Michel are the real couple. News spread like fire in the world of tango.

Amongst the interesting questions and gossips, there was a particularly interesting one.

We were at the milonga of Porteño y Bailarin, on a tuesday night. Royce came back to our table and told us an italian dancer asked her, "Are you a 'milonguera' or 'bailarina'?"

At first the question surprised Royce, but the italian man began to explain.

"Look at your surroundings, the long table opposite where you are sitting, sits Ernesto Balmaceda and his partner Stella Baez. With them, a crowd of their young students and friends.

On the table to their left, sits Diego Lanau and Negracha, with a couple of their friends and students.

On the table to your left, sits Giovanna de Vincenzo who dances with Aoniken Quiroga. The table in front of them sits El Flaco Dany.

Tonight, 70% of the dancers present are professional bailarinas (dancers). So which one are you?"

Looking at the dancefloor, the ambient of a majority crowd of professional dancers showed too. Many dancers were enjoying their full repetoire of performance tricks; waist high boleos and secadas, knees that go up to chest height while doing their embellishments, lapiz that resembles the leg sweep move my kungfu teacher taught me when I was young.

The dancefloor was not so crowded but it felt like a mess of people each doing a mini performance to the music. Of course they were having fun, but some dancers were dancing with a subconscious undertone of showing off; nice, flashy moves, but big. And it was dangerous just to dance around them. One would never know when that four inch heel would scrap the ankle or land on the feet.

Cacho Dante once said that the the essence of tango is your partner, the music and the people around you. "Milonguear." He would used this word to describe a person doing social tango. "Bailar bien no es igual que saber milonguear." ("To dance well doesn't equal to knowing how to dance socially.")

The young dancers, young in the sense of their dancing age, they are spectacular with regards to technique and expression of the music. But one thing that is fast disappearing is the consideration for the dancers surrounding them.

For a popular milonga such as Porteño y Bailarin, with a dancefloor smaller than a badminton court, how important is that! To be considerate in managing your own dancing space.

As for the milongueras, the experienced social dancers. Not all of them have as great technique as the professional dancers (some of them do!). But what a good milonguera always have, is the social aspect of her dance; the ability to make you feel she is dancing with you 100% during the tanda, the ability to execute her boleos, embellishments safely and not hurting other people, the ability to not just make herself look and feel good, but to make you look and feel like the best dancer on the dancefloor!

Dear reader, I do not know who you would rather be. But Royce answered, and I can imagine with a certain amount of pride, "I'm not a bailarina!"

"Changkito! Who is changkito?" Javier's brother called out "Are you changkito?" he glanced at me. Nope. My name is Isaac. "Oh ok." He put the package aside. "Next!!!"

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It was christmas eve 2007. More importantly, it was her birthday and most importantly, it was a day after she left Buenos Aires.

I was feeling very down and had plans to sleep and watch movies alone at home and have myself a very miserable Christmas. That plan was quickly banished when I got a text message from Javier, which read, "Want to come to my home for christmas eve?"

"Sure!" I replied, "I don't want to be alone in my house."

Javier's family lived in Tigre, some forty-five minutes taxi ride away from the centre of Buenos Aires city. Along the way we went to pick up two of Javier's friends, Matteo and his lovely partner Patricia. They danced tango too, and I later found out they were the main organizers and performers of the large scale Tango Festival of Florence, Italy.

It was afternoon when we arrived. In the house lived his mom, grandma, brother, sister-in law, auntie, uncle and their kids. Most of the rest of the extended family lived a few houses away and would be gathering later in the evening for a big family dinner. Similar to our chinese new year eve reunion dinner.

At their door, we were greeted by three big dogs and Javier's mom. Later on, Javier's brother (who is a dancer in the Argentine National Folk Dance Troupe), sister-in law and their little 2 year old son joined us (this little fella is already imitating how to folk dance like his dad; the dancing blood runs in the family!).

We were all having a relaxed chat in the kitchen when suddenly a voice came booming in, "who are all these rude people who came without even greeting me?" A kindly wrinkled face appeared in the kitchen doorway, half smiling in mock anger. "Oh shut up mother! We thought you were asleep! These are Javier's friends!" Javier's mom replied nonchalantly, continuing her preparation for the dinner.

"What do we have here? A little chinese kid (un chinito!)!" She smiled as she ruffled my hair, "Your name is Isaac? Few years back Javier brought home some chinitos for christmas too." (Funny, now as I am typing this, it sounds to me like some name for potato chips.) "Oh well, I'll let you guys play, I'll be off to prepare my dishes for tonight!"

(*Chinito - Little chinese kid, spanish slang.)

Javier gestured to me, talking about the food his grandma makes, "Mama mia, yummm!" My first impression of this eighty-five year old granny as she staggered out of the kitchen was, 'what a strong lady!' So much life force and so alert in the brain! In fact a lot of elderly in Argentina, I had observed, they have a lot of respect from the younger generation in their family, a lot of self esteem and vitality.

As I helped out to set the tables for the dinner party, I saw lots of gifts under the christmas tree. Turned out that gift exchange was a hightlight of Christmas eve. So Matteo, Patricia and I decided to go shopping with Javier, at a local town center in the late afternoon.

Javier bought lots of presents, one for each family member. With the limited budget I got, I decided I could only get one present, a pair of board shorts for Javier.

As the sun set, the once empty patio area was now laid out with a fabulous spread, with decorations hand made by Javier's mom. Javier bought two bouquets of jasmin, cut the flowers and put them into bowls bringing a fresh light jasmin fragrance to the ambient.

The festives got underway, uncles, nieces, friends, brother, sisters, all started to stream in one by one and by nine o'clock at night, everyone was seated and eating.

I just sat back and observed quietly as they all chatted away. No television, no distractions; just eating, talking and drinking wine. Over twenty of us seated at a long table eating together. "We used to be able to set our dining table on the street outside our house, with other families, and the whole neighbourhood would eat outside their houses, so every family can see one another and eat side by side. Times have changed." one of the uncles of Javier told me.

"10, 9, 8..." Countdown, like everywhere else in the world. Midnight struck and everyone rose to congratulate one another, a 'clink' of their champagne class and then giving one another a hearty embrace and a kiss. Another one of the argentine ways I take to very well; a little human touch never does any harm.

We went out of the house and set off some fireworks. "The chinese celebrate their new year with fireworks too." I explained to one of the uncles, "But Singapore banned it a few years ago as some houses got burnt or people got injured by the explosives."

"Yeah it happens here too. Every year during Christmas and New Year's. You have numerous accidents like this in Argentina." the uncle replied. "Maybe your government is smart. But this is something we enjoy very much."

Finally the grand highlight of the evening. The time where everyone gets the presents. "Let's see who gets the most presents this year!" "It must be Martin (Javier's little two year old nephew)!" "You always get more presents than me!" "That's because I'm more popular!!" The place is abuzz with anticipation.

One of Javier's brother volunteered himself as the present giver. One by one he called out the names written on the presents. No surprise little Martin got the most presents, more than ten of them. Javier got his fair share. Patricia and Matteo got a few. I got one from Javier.

Soon all the presents got their owners except for one with the name 'changkito'. "Well we have a stray present." Javier's brother mused. Everyone started to wonder whoever 'changkito' might be.

"Let me take a look." one of Javier's auntie took up the package for a closer look. "Oh no its not changkito. Its CHINITO!!!" And instantly she looked at me with a big smile.

"Well, he is chinito! The little chinese kid!" Javier's granny exclaimed. "I forgotten his name so he is chinito. I hope you don't mind. Haha." Everyone burst out laughing.

It was quite heartwarming for me that the only other present I got would be from Javier's granny! And what a way to get it!